I remember being younger and wishing to be a grown up. I remember thinking that life would be so great: no parents, no rules, no boundaries. I can go to bed whenever I want AND eat that second brownie. And anytime I ever tried to express this to an adult, they would tell me how wrong I am. Now that I am 15 (which is kind of the cusp of child to adult hood, to me), I see both sides. I can still remember what I felt as 5 year old me having to go to bed at 9 pm. But I also understand what the adults mean.
I am in my freshman year of high school, and I'm literally worried about turning 40. This may sound totally weird to anyone else... But I honestly am nervous about getting older. About not making the most out of my life. What really amazes me is that I've already gone to my first day of high school. I already know the (uneventful) story of my first day of high school that I will tell my kids. That's a trip.
Life is a totally weird thing, if you ask me. It's fair, because it's unfair to everyone one. It's beautiful and horrible all at the same time. I think life is scary, exciting, boring, hard, and amazing. It's all about how you perceive it.
I do NOT want to rely on the future to make me happy. I can look forward to things, but I think waiting for perfect moments or milestones is a waist. Because I could die before that even happens. Or, it does happen, and then it's over. What will I have left after that?
Finally, I just think it's important to realize how lucky we all are. We get a chance to take care of our selves. We are each the center of our own universe. While we cannot foresee our lives, we can at least try to. And we will all die someday, so why experience what the world has to offer, first? I guess what I'm trying to say is my biggest fear in life is not living to my fullest potential..
I have no initial point to this post, but this idea is something I've been pondering over for a while now. I just thought you might be interested in reading it.